


Past, Present, and the Old Days

by seraphicseeker (orphan_account)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Feels, Bucky Barnes Has Issues, Conversations, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Misunderstandings, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Panic Attacks, Past Brainwashing, Protective Tony, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-22
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2019-05-26 19:42:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15007985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/seraphicseeker
Summary: Bucky sometimes felt like an outsider with his new team. It didn't help that Steve was trying too hard. Well, at least Tony didn't treat him any different.(Or, AU where Bucky was saved by Steve and didn't kill Tony's parents.)





	Past, Present, and the Old Days

**Author's Note:**

> Finally wrote a winteriron fic! Hope you like it. it was supposed to be a prompt for someone but I accidentally turned it into something else. Opps.
> 
> Comments and kudos are lovely and appreciated.

Living in the Avengers tower was uncomfortable for Bucky once he started to stay there due to Steve insisting on it. He was not used to his teammates. The way they talk and laugh together, drinking a few beers on the weekend like old buddies.

Honestly, Bucky wanted to leave the place. But then what? He had nowhere to go. He was free from Hydra.

Bucky frowned, then headed to the gym to clear his mind. He could see in Steve's eyes that he wanted the  _old him_ ; the one that called him 'punk' when he was a teenager. The thing was that Bucky felt unworthy to do that. He couldn't go back to how things were, no matter how much he saw Steve getting hurt whenever Bucky would say 'can we talk about something else', when the past came up.

He halted as he saw Tony going at it with a punching bag. Bucky hesitated, thinking if he should come back later or join Tony. While the team greeted Bucky with warmth and politeness, Tony did not. Tony treated Bucky how he would normally treat others. Tony, in an odd way, made him feel normal and sane. Bucky wasn't uncomfortable with him.

Tony, sensing someone watching him, turned around and grinned when he saw Bucky. "Hey, terminator!" Rolling his eyes, Bucky softly smiled at the nickname. When Tony had first called Bucky that, Steve took it as offense— because Clint had shown him the movie— and demanded that Tony apologized. Bucky, however, had laughed and said he didn't mind, not even when Clint told him who the character was. It was nice to be treated fair.

"What are you doing throwing punches?" he asked. "You're going to hurt yourself." They constantly teased each other.

Tony snorted. " _Please_. Nothing can hurt me. I'm Iron Man, after all." He wiped away the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand. Tony's nose wrinkled at how much he sweated. Gross. "Ugh. Need to shower. Gym's all yours, Bucky."

As Tony took off the towel from his neck, he started to walk towards the exit while drying his face.

"Can I go to your workshop later?" Bucky blurted out.

Tony stopped and looked over his shoulder, one eyebrow raised, waiting for Bucky to continue.

"Everyone tries to make me hang with them, which is nice and all... but sometimes I just want to be..." Bucky trailed off, not sure how to say it without sounding ungrateful.

"Alone," Tony finished for him. "Yeah, sure. Swing by the lab. I know how the team can get a bit suffocating. Hell, that's why I'm in my lab most of the time. The only one allowed is Bruce, and that's because he's quiet as a mouse. Steve, on the other hand, not so much. That guy is a lion! Always roaring at me." He turned back around and resumed his steps, yelling out, "You're quiet too, so welcome to the clubhouse."

Bucky blinked. He hadn't moved once Tony was gone. Did Tony just say he was now allowed into the lab? That's what it sounded like.

Something twisted and fluttered in his stomach, and Bucky felt like a teenager again, remembering that similar emotion when he saw dames looking at him. Oh no, he was developing feelings for Tony.

* * *

Steve was talking about going for a run, and it made Bucky happy to get out of the tower, finally getting some fresh air. He had been cooped up in that place for the past three days. He nodded and put on his running shoes— that Tony bought for him.

They made their way outside and once they took a turn at the corner they started to sprint. The day was sunny with large clouds roaming around, blocking the sun for a few minutes once in a while. It was pleasant.

He and Steve were running the same pace, well, maybe he was going a bit faster, mostly because he liked to beat his best friend. Bucky had no idea where they were heading. Central Park, Bucky thought.

What he had not expected was heading to Brooklyn? Bucky froze as he saw familiar buildings. Why did Steve take him here?

Steve stopped as well when he noticed that Bucky wasn't running behind him. "Bucky?"

"Why did you bring me here?" he snapped. He mind raced through old memories: fond and cherished; to bad memories: killing and suffering. Bucky was heavily breathing, and it wasn't because of the run, no, he was hyperventilating.

Bucky squeezed his eyes shut, trying to blank his mind, but he was failing. He didn't even realize he had swatted Steve's hand away as he tried to reach him. No, no, no. Bucky didn't want help, especially from Steve.

He was the one supposed to be protecting him. Not the other way around.

Both boys were startled when they heard the screeching sounds of a tire coming to full stop. It was a limo.

Reopening his eyes, Bucky saw Tony rushing out and guiding him into the car. Tony gently pushed him inside. "It's okay," Tony reassured. "You're having a panic attack. It'll pass. Just relax." He said a few words to Steve, not that Bucky was paying attention, but if he had… he would've heard Tony saying 'I can't believe you would do this to him.'

Tony sat next to Bucky and slammed the door shut.

"Happy, tower! And step on it!" Tony ordered.

They drove away.

As they got to Tony's workshop, he placed Bucky on the couch and hugged him. If Bucky wasn't panicking, he would've been telling Tony to let go of him, but at the moment it felt soothing to be held. He needed it.

"JARVIS, lock the workshop!" Tony hissed. "Don't let anyone in."

"Very well, sir."

"Talk to me, Bucky. What happened?" Tony already knew but he wanted to hear him say it. He wanted Bucky to open up because that helped sometimes, at least in Tony's opinion.

"I started to get memories..." Bucky shivered. "Not so good ones. My head was hurting— I just freaked out." He shook his head and then rested against Tony. He could feel his heart easing and his voice slowly steadying.

"Hey. It's not your fault. Steve shouldn't have even pulled that stunt. He was taking you to where you guys grew up." Tony ran his fingers into Bucky's brown locks.

Oh shit, Bucky gulped as he remembered, I left him in the street. Guilt and anger washed over him— that no matter how many times he had told Steve to stop talking about past— Steve would still try again and again.

"What's wrong with me?" Bucky mused. He could feel his eyes prickled with tears at the thought that he was no longer the same man Steve knew. "I can't be him. The old Bucky. The Bucky who used to laugh, play, make jokes... the one Steve really wants back. I'm no longer him. I tried so damn hard to be, but I can't!" he shouted over Tony's shoulder.

Tony simply listened and continued to pet his hair. They stayed like that, holding onto each other, until Bucky was calm.

As they pulled away, Bucky couldn't help but ask, "How did you know where we were anyway?"

Tony gave him a sheepish grin. "I, uh, may be tracking all the Avengers. Please don't tell Steve!" Tony had given each Avenger a state of an art Stark Phone, and one feature was tracking location. "I saw that you were almost near Brooklyn. And I just thought you wouldn't like it." He shrugged.

For once, technology came in hand.

"Thanks, Tony. I don't know what would've happened," Bucky's gaze lowered, "if you hadn't shown up. Steve wasn't being helpful." He signed. "I know his heart is in the right place but his head isn't. He's stuck in the past."

"Normally, I wouldn't be saying this because I would never do it. But I think you need to talk to Steve about this— Wait, have you?"

Bucky frowned, looking guilty. "No. I don't know how to. He always has hope. He hasn't changed one bit. I like to believe I can go back to how I was before, but the truth is, I won't. Steve will probably end up hating me—"

"I could never do that," Steve declared, scaring Bucky and Tony. When did he get there?

"Jesus Christ! Are you trying to give me a heart attacks, Rogers? JARVIS, what the hell?" Tony glared at the ceiling as he rose.

"I apologize, sir, but Mr. Rogers said the override code." JARVIS didn't sound sorry one bit. Figures.

"Steve," Bucky started, but was stopped when Steve raised his hand to silence him.

"Let me talk," Steve said with a hint of pleading. "I want to say sorry. I know I was pushing you to remember the old times and I shouldn't have done that. But, Bucky, you have to know that I will never  _ever_  hate you. I'd hate myself first. Oh, and you're wrong. I am different. I'm not the same guy I was before I went down the ice. He's gone." Steve sat on the couch next to Bucky. "I'm sorry. I didn't know I was causing you harm. Can you ever forgive me?"

The corner of Bucky's lips turned upwards, then said, "You know I'll always do that. You'd be lost without me." Steve smacked his shoulder, making Bucky chuckle. Tony was right. They just needed to talk. Speaking of Tony, where was he?

"Tony?" Bucky called him, looking around the lab. He was gone.

JARVIS' voice answered him, "Sir left the workshop five minutes ago."

"Why did he leave?" Steve wondered.

"I believed he wanted to give you both privacy to fix your relationship," JARVIS replied.

"Relationship?" Both said in unison. Bucky stared at Steve with wide eyes, while Steve did the same.

"We're not in a relationship," Steve said in mild disgust, not because Bucky was a guy but because it was  _Bucky_. That'd be weird.

"Asshole," Bucky muttered. "JARVIS, how long has Tony been thinking that me and Steve were together?"

"A few weeks, Mr. Barnes." Oh, that couldn't be good. "He expected something was going on for a while."

"Shit! I have to talk to Tony. I'll talk to you later, Steve." Bucky dashed out of the workshop before Steve could respond. "Can you tell me where he is?" he asked JARVIS.

"Balcony. Head to the elevator and then take a turn," JARVIS instructed.

Bucky followed JARVIS' instructions and marched into the elevator. He had to tell Tony that this was all a  _big_  misunderstanding. How could Tony even think that he was with Steve—  _Oh_. Bucky groaned, now remembering that all the times he had spent with Tony: all he did was talk about Steve.

No wonder Tony came up with his own theory.

As he arrived to the Balcony, Bucky saw Tony leaning against the rails and eyeing the mid-blue sky. He wore an unreadable expression. Bucky could only guess that he was devastated and hurt. Tony assumed that he was with Steve, but that wasn't what made Bucky feel like shit, it was because Tony wanted him happy. Even if it made Tony miserable.

He put his feelings aside so Bucky could be happy. Then that meant that Tony liked him. What a selfless man?

And an idiot!

"You have some nerve!" he said in a huff. Tony jumped and turned around, not expecting a pissed off Bucky— who was slowly approaching him.

"Bucky?" Tony stepped back. He really did, except his back pressed against the rails. Great. Now he was stuck. "W-What can I do you for? Aren't you supposed to be with Steve?" he stammered.

Growling, Bucky fisted his hand into Tony's shirt and pulled him close. "The only person I want to be next to is you. No one else." Tony looked like he was about to protest but Bucky kissed him, so he wouldn't babble some lame ass excuse about how he didn't deserve him. Bullshit.

Tony got with the program and kissed back. Bucky knew that everything was going to be alright.


End file.
